Tuck Fexas 09 RSVP

Alright my Sooner faithful.....it's that time to start thinking about The 7th Annual Tuck Fexas celebration at my place again this year. Kickoff is at 900am....again....so the folks staying here will either not go to sleep the night before...or we'll be setting our alarm clocks to begin drinking. I'll be using the same supplier of Texas Longhorn this year located west of Texas and will have both ribs and brisket on the smoker....a tofu cow for the token vegan in the bunch....and some Bevo Nuts (see below menu)....all mesquite smoked of course.

Please respond with your RSVP by leaving a comment below so I can start to get an accurate count of how many racks to buy and how many gallons of beer we should get (On second thought....I don't care how many folks don't come....we're still getting a keg). Some of you may be coming a bit later given the early start, if so; please indicate that in your reply. The menu for the day is listed below with an addition to last years feast. Lastly....we filled the bevo pinata full of booze last year....this year, I'm going to have a Mack Brown effigy in place of the pinata. He-otter and I felt it would be better to spread the hate around some more and include Mack as well. He will be wearing a big asterisks since that's how he rolls with his football stats. Enjoy this lil' snippet....it gives me chills every time. If it does not give you chills....you probably should not come to the party....

Tuck Fexas Menu


Bevo – Certified Texas Longhorn Back Ribs: Organic, free-range, all grass-fed, no additives or preservatives from the RidgeRun ranch in Wagon Mound, New Mexico. I tenderize em’ (he’s already kinda soft, but I kick the shit out of’em for good measure), rubbed generously with my Tuck Fexas blend of spices and, smoke’em with mesquite chips using the 2-2-1 method while surrounded by a bunch of jackass Sooners with nothing better to do than set their alarm clock so they can start drinkin’ before 6:00am.

– Certified Texas Longhorn Brisket: sourced from the same range as above. This hunk of cow flesh will be pummeled by me and anyone else wearing the Crimson & Cream 2 days before game time. After the beating, I will then rub it in my Tuck Fexas spice, coat in mustard and rub more Tuck Fexas spice on for good measure where it will marinate in the fridge for 24 hours. Then sometime on Friday when I decide to leave sobriety behind for the weekend, I will throw ole' Bevo on the smoker for a long and slow trip to smokey mesquite goodness for the next 24 hours whereby a Dionysian group of Sooners will descend and consume thinly sliced, juicy bits covered in BBQ sauce from none other than Jake's Rib in Chickasha, OK.

– Certified Texas Longhorn Nuts: OK.....we're not really going to have Rocky Mountain oysters (gonads for you biology types). The dudes won't tuch'em....and since this show's pretty much a sausage fest already, I don't expect the remaining females (one of em' vegan) to consume a bunch of Bevo brethren bean-bags. So instead, we'll be having Longhorn meatballs as a starter. I won't tell you what's in'em, only to say that they're good.


Tuck Fexas Coleslaw - The usual, time-tested recipe with my Tuck Fexas blend of herbs and spices…ok, no herbs…just spices. Hell son, you gotta have something to chase that Bevo through your lower GI with. With all the beer, Bevo and Burbon you’re gonna consume this fine day, you need some greenery otherwise you’ll be swearin’ that Bevo hisself is poppin’ out your poop-hole.

Grilled Polenta – Polenta mixed with freshly roasted Hatch green chiles, aged cheddar and fresh grilled corn, grilled and served in wedges. I know what you’re thinking, Polenta? It sounds like one of those Texas Tech-“Harvard on the Plains” fancy-nancy recipes that’l have you dancin’ round like Mike Leach at one of Donald Trump's soiree's. It's fancy alright, but believe me, this is the real deal.

Pecan Pie – My Grandma Jewel’s recipe complete with the attitude her Cherokee 1,000 yard stare warranted. If you don’t know what goes into a pecan pie, don't bother asking; your endocrinologist will remind you later. I, of course, will only use Oklahoma sourced Pecans.

Beer – Cold and lots of it.

Relaxo, killer halfs and One Big Red Onion

I know it's been a while I've given a pic post....my bad....I've been a slouch since the 88...most of my riding has been maintenance rides and my only action pics would have been of me picking up a few growlers from 4-Peaks, drinking a couple and then yelling at OU's Offensive line....as in, their performance is offensive.

To bring me out of my funk, Chollaball introduced me to another riding buddy who has a 3-day, early fall tradition of inviting some like minded riders up to his cabin in Williams, AZ for a Rancho Relaxo weekend.....perfect!

We started out with a scenic detour on the Friday drive up to Prescott for a spin on the rocks.

Thanks to the Prescott crew for showing us the lines....

..........and the dots....

......otherwise I would have had to make up my own route...like chollaball......

There were plenty of fun power up's....

.....rock bridge ups.....

......and entrenched crazy ups.....

The only carnage was a little blood from Byron....which looks rad enough to be a tattoo.....

.....and the only downer was at the end of the ride when we discovered that someone's SPOT unit had sent a 911 distress signal out.....so that someone (who looks like me) had to explain to the friendly Sheriff's Deputy that it was a false-signal. Note to self: Tape my spot '911' button over to prevent accidental activation. Note to SPOT: Add cover to your '911' button to prevent me from accidentally informing the world that I'm bleeding out.....

I can't thank the Prescott crew enough for a wonderful ride and great Indian food recommendation afterwords! Props also go to the Yavapai Sheriff Department for responding to the SPOT distress signal and finding me in less than 15 minutes....even though I was code 4. When I asked if Code 4 meant "dumbass"....the Deputy replied, "No....it's code for we're gonna kick your ass now".

Leaving Prescott behind, Chollaball and I headed north towards Rancho for some happy hour(s)....is that actually an RFID on a bottle of El Jimador?.....

As folks trickled in and unloaded their bikes....we all felt compelled to test ride everybody else's ride....it was like Christmas getting to play with all my friends toys....only with Tequila and beer....

That's when the serious part of the weekend started.....disk golf. It turns out I am the only one who has never played....the rest of the group had an average of 20 yrs of Ultimate experience....I decided to drink more beer to mask my angry throws.....and my crappy technique...

The course Alex set up was pretty cool. We got to see some wild life......

.....we Set the Controls for the Heart of the Sun.....

.....and we even saw some finesse shots made from in the rough.....

Following disk-golf....we cooked up some dinner.....

....and gamed until we passed out......

Rising on Saturday morning....we were met with thunder and lightning on the ride up Schultz.....I was optimistic that it would blow away...it kinda did at times leaving us jacketless.....

....and it kinda didn't at times leaving us steaming with jackets....

....either way...it was beautiful riding.....

All in all....a great ride on Eldon riding Schultz, Gnarly, Pickle, Eldon, Red Onion, Hobbit......

And then it started looking grim again...memories of lightning on an exposed ridge in the Canyon Range of Utah promoted me to insist on a halt....so we scrapped the rest of the climb and started heading down....Alex and Cholla taking Wassabi...the rest of the crew heading back down the way we came. We all then joined up to ride Rocky Ridge back to the Schultz base. The only carnage on the day was Byron hitting his knee on a power up and me wrapping myself around a tree on lower Red Onion.....creating a bruise the size of a cantaloupe on my inner thigh/quad....it turned the color of a Red Onion in mere minutes. When it happened, I also slammed my neck and chest into the tree....not knocking the wind out of me...but dazing me enough to force me to take pause for a few minutes before riding again.


Back at the Rancho, we grilled and watched people grill.....


Had some half's....and half's....and half's.....


.....and got skunked while partying it up.....apparently they like peaches.....


On Sunday we scrapped plans to hit Bill Williams Mtn, and instead opted for more Eldon goodness.....which translated into Schultz-Onceler-Overlook-Secret-Supermoto....alot of log rolls.....


....skinny's to log rolls....

....and one angry Tarantula...

At this point, I started to really feel the Red Onion bruise wearing on me....limiting my ability on power-ups due to constant pain in my quadricep....so I called it in for the rest of the ride....riding sloppy for half of secret and all of supermoto. The pain was so bad by the end of the ride, it hurt to clip in or use my legs to soak and pump the terrain on what should have been a super-fun, supermoto. In the end though, I was happy to ride out of the 100 degree temps for three days and to push my riding past my comfort zone each day....finding new skills for which I previously had not worked on and making new friends in the process.

Wow!

Don't even say a word.....don't call me...don't text me....don't tweet me....don't ask me what happened.....all I can say is......10/17/09.......whatever happens in life....it will all be answered on 10/17.

It snowed in the Tetons today....my heart is near

It's that time of year again....College football is here.....the weather is hovering around 100 degrees F.......all the riding buddies are sick of night rides at Hawes at 97 degrees F.....and this seasons ski porn videos are here. These have been posted by folks whose blogs I read....but I like them all in one place......I hope you do to....because sometimes when the sun is still beating us down....we all need our fix. These constitute my favorite ski flick makers these days...breaking the traditional ski porn paradigm by getting back to close in shots showing emotion, movement and flow.....throwing off their backs the long lens, heli enabled shots of old.....these generate feelings in my soul which are much closer aligned to the core of what it actually feels like to be absent from life....living a powder day. For those of you on slower connections, I've enabled HD video (because it's the only way to watch this art)....so it's worth your while to start the video and pause it for a few minutes so the trailer can load.....it's well worth it. Enjoy:

1st up...this seasons release by Powderwhore Productions - Flakes



2nd up....and in no particular order....this seasons release by Sweetgrass - Signatures



And last, but certainly not least....a history lesson.....by VAS Entertainment - Swift, Silent, Deep