Alright my Sooner faithful.....it's that time to start thinking about The 7th Annual Tuck Fexas celebration at my place again this year. Kickoff is at 900am....again....so the folks staying here will either not go to sleep the night before...or we'll be setting our alarm clocks to begin drinking. I'll be using the same supplier of Texas Longhorn this year located west of Texas and will have both ribs and brisket on the smoker....a tofu cow for the token vegan in the bunch....and some Bevo Nuts (see below menu)....all mesquite smoked of course.
Please respond with your RSVP by leaving a comment below so I can start to get an accurate count of how many racks to buy and how many gallons of beer we should get (On second thought....I don't care how many folks don't come....we're still getting a keg). Some of you may be coming a bit later given the early start, if so; please indicate that in your reply. The menu for the day is listed below with an addition to last years feast. Lastly....we filled the bevo pinata full of booze last year....this year, I'm going to have a Mack Brown effigy in place of the pinata. He-otter and I felt it would be better to spread the hate around some more and include Mack as well. He will be wearing a big asterisks since that's how he rolls with his football stats. Enjoy this lil' snippet....it gives me chills every time. If it does not give you chills....you probably should not come to the party....
Tuck Fexas Menu
Bevo – Certified Texas Longhorn Back Ribs: Organic, free-range, all grass-fed, no additives or preservatives from the RidgeRun ranch in Wagon Mound, New Mexico. I tenderize em’ (he’s already kinda soft, but I kick the shit out of’em for good measure), rubbed generously with my Tuck Fexas blend of spices and, smoke’em with mesquite chips using the 2-2-1 method while surrounded by a bunch of jackass Sooners with nothing better to do than set their alarm clock so they can start drinkin’ before 6:00am.
– Certified Texas Longhorn Brisket: sourced from the same range as above. This hunk of cow flesh will be pummeled by me and anyone else wearing the Crimson & Cream 2 days before game time. After the beating, I will then rub it in my Tuck Fexas spice, coat in mustard and rub more Tuck Fexas spice on for good measure where it will marinate in the fridge for 24 hours. Then sometime on Friday when I decide to leave sobriety behind for the weekend, I will throw ole' Bevo on the smoker for a long and slow trip to smokey mesquite goodness for the next 24 hours whereby a Dionysian group of Sooners will descend and consume thinly sliced, juicy bits covered in BBQ sauce from none other than Jake's Rib in Chickasha, OK.
– Certified Texas Longhorn Nuts: OK.....we're not really going to have Rocky Mountain oysters (gonads for you biology types). The dudes won't tuch'em....and since this show's pretty much a sausage fest already, I don't expect the remaining females (one of em' vegan) to consume a bunch of Bevo brethren bean-bags. So instead, we'll be having Longhorn meatballs as a starter. I won't tell you what's in'em, only to say that they're good.
Tuck Fexas Coleslaw - The usual, time-tested recipe with my Tuck Fexas blend of herbs and spices…ok, no herbs…just spices. Hell son, you gotta have something to chase that Bevo through your lower GI with. With all the beer, Bevo and Burbon you’re gonna consume this fine day, you need some greenery otherwise you’ll be swearin’ that Bevo hisself is poppin’ out your poop-hole.
Grilled Polenta – Polenta mixed with freshly roasted Hatch green chiles, aged cheddar and fresh grilled corn, grilled and served in wedges. I know what you’re thinking, Polenta? It sounds like one of those Texas Tech-“Harvard on the Plains” fancy-nancy recipes that’l have you dancin’ round like Mike Leach at one of Donald Trump's soiree's. It's fancy alright, but believe me, this is the real deal.
Pecan Pie – My Grandma Jewel’s recipe complete with the attitude her Cherokee 1,000 yard stare warranted. If you don’t know what goes into a pecan pie, don't bother asking; your endocrinologist will remind you later. I, of course, will only use Oklahoma sourced Pecans.
Beer – Cold and lots of it.