At this moment, nothing matters more...this stochastic analysis which has occurred since mankind became self-aware. Nothing will ever be as important than this feel and thought....a sharp run-down of risks vs. consequence....benefit begrudgingly relegated to third place.
I dream of the sharp end where I feel only the risk...and manage to find a path forward. I struggle with a world in which I see only benefits and force myself to temper my decisions....and I envision an outcome where the paradox is balanced...but it is just a dream...for any balance we may find is hoisted upon gossamer hopes and happenstance. We are all victims before the rules are fully explained...I was dead the day I was born and I'm a victim of my own prejudices......but when will the two become one?
I don't have a say in this final question...it is one of many things I can not control. My only hold on this process is that I might push out the inevitable until I am long worn from the struggle on the frosty end.