Who the Hell is maadjurguer?

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I like to ski, mountain bike, drink beer, cook and listen to any jam band I can get my hands on; all while making a complete ass of myself. Hopefully this catharsis is as interesting to others as it is to me.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Meat woes

I'm actually losing sleep over the BBQ logistics.....vacillating over cooking day of the game, or a pre-cook the day before. Both have their merits, but both have their downsides as well. Generally low and slow the day of is the old school method...but the times vary wildly as to how long a piece of meat will take. It can take anywhere from 1hr/lb to 2hr/lb depending on the quality of the cut. That's a lot of variability when you're trying to target a serving time. In addition, the low and slow methods offer a few temperature plateau's which make things interesting....the meat will actually stop raising its internal temp given a constant 220 degree environment and in some cases, will fall in internal temp; only to rebound, climb and stall once more. It's enough to make your hairfall out. The upside is that this is the method which produces the tenderest piece of brisket possible with that smoke ring of mesquite-ey goodness that everyone likes to see and the dark bark found on the outside with the carmalized sugars from the dry rub. So....If I go this route, it's either gamble on a 1.5 hrs/lb average time and wake up at 0400 to start the process for a 1200 serving time....or cook the day prior and just let the chips fall where they may with the reheat the day of the game. I've heard that the reheat does not translate into much lost in the way of flavor and texture...still, the style points here irk me. If it's not ready at 1200....it's going to be tough.....the one piece of meat that the longer you cook it....the more tender it gets...as long as you keep it between 220 and 250 dome temp.

Compounding this, I'm also simultaneously planning to cook the ribs low and slow utilizing the 3-2-1 technique. This is the easy part since ribs are not as nearly as fickle as the brisket. So...my tentative itinerary is as follows:

Friday Morning:
-Coat ribs and brisket in Tuck Fexas rub. Then coat brisket in yellow mustard and apply more Tuck Fexas rub. Saran wrap each and fridge.

Saturday Morning:
-0400 - Put brisket on rack on grill, fat side down with drip pan below filled with a beer for the BBQ gods. Keep active smoke going on Bevo with a temp range of 220-250. Drink a beer.
-0600 - Put Ribs on rack over second drip pan filled with more beer for the BBQ gods. Drink more beer and wake the Sooner masses with an extremely loud Pride of Oklahoma version of Boomer Sooner.
-0700 - Gameday in Dallas begins...men drink their Arrogant Bastard, ladies drink their Bloody Mack "Mary" Browns.
-0855 - Curse Scooter for picking Texas to win the game...then cheer because when Scooter picks Texas, OU usually wins.
-0859 - Foil ribs with some mop sauce thrown in, put back on the grill
-0900 - Watch the game, trying not to spill beer on freshly cleaned carpets....why did I clean the carpet BEFORE the game....guess I'm a dumbass.
-1000 - Hope to the BBQ gods that OU is kicking ass and the brisket is close to an internal temp of 160. If so....put the briske in an extra duty foil wrap, stuff in a preheated igloo cooler with blankets to take up air volume and let it coast to an internal temp of 190 via our old pal Nicolas Leonard Sadi Carnot.
-1100 - Make my way to the grill while diligently trying not to fall into the pool on the way....un-foil the ribs and put back on the grill for the last hour. Watch as Auston English and DeMarcus Granger snap Colt "Oppie" McCoy in half....literally snap him in half. Half of the stadium in Dallas is vomiting and crying, the other half cheering and throwing empty wild turkey ass pocket flasks at bevo.
-1200 - Unwrap all the meat while celebrating total dominance over texas and chow down on some bevo....Soy Bevo for the holdout vegan in the audience.

Ohh yeah....I rode today before work:







9.4 miles, 1103ft elevation gained

1 comments:

jurguer's wife said...

PPFFF!! Dude, I think your schedule needs an insert:

-1030 – The strangely voodoo-ish group slaughtering of Bevo, in which we symbolically send his insides through a sluice gate meant to collect liquids and partial-solids. But not on the freshly cleaned carpets, of course.

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